You know you need them but it’s hard to set them.
That’s it, that’s the post.
Okay, that’s not the whole post but that about covers it right? Let’s expand anyway. I always thought I was pretty good at setting boundaries and for most people and situations, I was. The ones that weren’t so integrated into my day-to-day life. Way easier to respond with a hard “No.” and that’d be the end of it. But what about the boss at the job? Close friends? Or family? It’s a whole different ball game and one I’m still learning how to play.
I don’t have all the answers but here’s what I’ve learned so far.
Get clear on what it is (exactly) that you want. If you’re not clear on what you want, you don’t know what you’re trying to protect
If you are saying “yes” to something, what are you saying “no” to instead? For example, ‘yes’ to happy hour after work is a “no” to the scheduled workout instead
A moment of retreat from others may be necessary while you get yourself together
Your free time does not equal availability for others to consume
The classic - No, is a complete sentence
Also learning that having boundaries and people pleasing are first cousins but that’s a post for a whole other time and maybe one I’ll circle back to after I figure a few more things out. For now I’ll say, do whatever you feel is necessary in regards to friendships/relationships/etc. to put yourself in the most positive secure stress free state of mind possible and do it with no shame or guilt. The ultimate “do you boo!”
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