February for me was beyond chaotic. I was coming off the high of smashing all my New Years goals and habits, going hard at the gym and wrapping up a big project at work…or so I thought. The project that was supposed to end in December, got extended through January and then got extended again through February with the fight and fury of a thousand deadlines. I tend to go above and beyond naturally so I’m used to some longer hours/days but the requirements to keep up with the workload of February was a new kind of chaos. Eating healthy? Psshhh! Gym? HA! Balance? Yea right!
In March, I basically shut down. I had only enough energy to stare off into space and try to wrap my head around the storm I just got through. Left alone long enough with my thoughts, I started coming to some conclusions but back to that in a bit.
When I was a recruiter, I found myself giving the “Pillars” speech to candidates the most out of other topics like pay & skillset. In short, I would tell folks you have to think of the major parts of your life as pillars you need to maintain to support balance in your life. Work is only one of those pillars. At minimum you need three pillars to have a good foundation, four would be nice, five would be even better. The point being, if one pillar gives out, like losing a job, your whole world doesn’t come crashing down from ignoring other major aspects of life.
So what were the conclusions? First, I did the very thing I warned so many others about…only focused on one pillar. It’s easier said than done but regardless of how busy I was, I should have still been going to the gym, eating healthy, etc. Second conclusion, without maintaining that balance and hyperfocusing on work, I managed to put myself into the same high stress survival mode from old job’s. The biggest conclusion from it all was I learned to identify the patterns I was repeating to be able to break the cycle I was stuck in.
With my new grand epiphany and a focus on being intentional and mindful, I refuse to ever be that level of stressed, especially at work. I may have even overcorrected because when folks around me start to freak out, I will actually laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. We are not surgeons or generals in war…calm down. This is usually followed by a trip to the gym to clear my mind, a quick walk outside and even just a few deep breaths at my desk.
When one thing has all your focus and that one thing is stressful, guess what, you won’t be doing too well. However, if you can identify and realize that the stressful thing is just 1 of 5, it’s easier to regulate your overall mood & attitude. Gone are the days of “I have to push through” or “grit and grind” or “hustle culture”. Absolutely not. Focus on yourself and give proper attention to all the [pillars] in your life to keep you balanced and strong.
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